Sunday, May 16, 2010

How to Deprogram Bullies: Teaching Kindness 101

How to Deprogram Bullies: Teaching Kindness 101

Diary of a Sleep Study Contestant

For the past few years I have been waken up by my husband to 'turn over' because I was snoring too loud. I have been kindly sleeping on my stomach with my head turned to the right so he doesn't hear my snoring. After much discussion with others, I finally decided to invest in a sleep study. 

Invest indeed! First I had to go to my Primary Care doctor to get orders; next I looked up a local hospital that provides sleep studies. After discussing my sleep history with the staff, I sent them my orders, with insurance documentation, along with my picture ID.

I then spoke with the Admissions staff, who informed me that I would have to pay my deductible. This is were the investment comes in, I have not met my deductible, which is $2,500, so I had to basically pay for the study. Needless to say after two 'study' nights, I will be very close to meeting my deductible.
I was informed by the hospital staff that I would arrive in the evening, my appointment was at 9:00 P.M., and that I would leave early in the morning, 6:30 A.M. I was also given a description of what would happen; if the first night shows that I am having problem with my breathing or heart rate, then they would suggest a second night for further investigation.

So I signed up for a Saturday night, put my PJs in a bag, toothbrush, etc. and arrived on time for the evening. Little did I know what was in store for me!

I was 'wired up', no less than 20 wires were connected to my body - my legs, chest, chin, throat, around my chest, in my hair, around the waist, and a wire that was like two toothpicks that were right under my nose with a connecting wire that was in front of my mouth. Whew! I looked like the Borg from "Star Trek" movies and the statement "resistance is futile" kept going in my head! All of these wires were cleverly gathered together and plugged into a little blue 'box' that was plugged into a wall mounted computer connection. These would monitor everything from my breathing to snoring sounds to how much I 'kick' my legs. Once the blue box was plugged in, then I had to inform the sleep lab staff of my bathroom needs and he would have to unplug the blue box, which was carried on my neck with a lanyard and all of the wires plugged in, it was a careful bathroom break! A look in the bathroom mirror, all I thought about was the Borg! "Resistance is futile!"

So I slept or tried to sleep. I woke up at least two times, normal for me, once just cause and the other time was a bathroom break. The lab staff had to come in once to put back on the finger monitor, and yes, I was watched like Big Brother! Before the staff came in, I would hear his voice over the speaker informing me of his need to enter. And, yes, there was a camera recording the session.

In the morning, I was awaken by 6:30 A.M. and all attached wires were removed. I had about as much rest as I usually did. I asked about any results, he could not give me any due to the reports having to go to my doctor, but he did say, "you will probably have to come for a second night." That second night would entail me having to use a breathing machine, and yes more monitors attached, as well as meeting the deductible for my insurance!

I came home and slept for three more hours! Resistance to sleep was futile!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Silhouettes of the City

At least three times a week I travel through downtown Houston to get to my gym. As I am driving through the edge of the city, there are people always on the sidewalks. I often wonder if the people driving ever notice these silhouettes or do they just make sure their doors are locked as they pass the faceless figures. The street I drive on is Fannin which has become the main thoroughfare for the METRO bus system since the addition of the rail line. On this street there are agencies like Lord of the Streets, The Men’s Center, Planned Parenthood and SEARCH. These agencies mainly serve the homeless population, so the silhouettes are usually the nameless homeless of the city.
They are the people that I serve on a consistent basis; they are the people that the city wants to ignore.
But they are people; and each of them has a story.
They may be a person who is standing in line at Lord of the Streets who needs their ID because the last time they had one it was stolen at the homeless shelter and now they need an original to get his Social Security card to be able to apply for a job.
They might be the person who has just left SEARCH going to their part-time job, which they are glad to have because it puts food in their mouth and allows them to add money to their METRO Pass.
The silhouettes might be the Christian protesters at Planned Parenthood carrying signs or literature, they are not homeless, but appear to be familiar with the homeless of Fannin.
The guy in his sweat pants sitting outside of the Men’s Center might be enjoying his first cup of coffee for the day before he heads to work to earn minimum wage to pay the weekly rent for the roof over his head. He might be praying or meditating and thanking his Higher Power for one more day of sobriety that allows him to live at a place that will make him a sandwich for his work day and keep him safe from the streets.
The guy with the backpack waiting at the bus stop might be leaving SEARCH and going to a job interview for the third time this week; this time he hopes they don’t ask him about the three felonies that are a direct result of his drug use, but now he is sober.
The woman figure walking into Planned Parenthood might be going to get an abortion because she knows she has been using PCP, is HIV+ and doesn’t want to have the baby from the boyfriend who just dumped her for his old girlfriend.
The young guy walking to his car at The Men’s Center might be heading to his job selling cars just outside of the city and is happy to have a place to come home to, even if it’s the shelter. He feels at home with the recovery addicts, he feels good about his sobriety today and good about choosing to live there.
Most of these silhouettes are people who are getting their lives together; but I can only imagine that the people driving by only see silhouettes. They may fear them. They are just people driving by, not paying attention to those on the streets, unaware that these people on the sidewalks are getting their lives together, one day at a time, one piece of paper at a time, one bus route at a time and grateful that the agencies are there to help them. They are not silhouettes; they are people.

Monday, April 26, 2010

The Dentist

So today I went to the dentist for the first time in two years. I did not think much of it, except I hate the drilling sound. However I think that since I have been getting my nails done I have grown accustomed to the noise, it is not as scary as it used to be.
I have dreaded dental visits because I have been scrutinized for having a medical condition, a previous dentist questioned me extensively about it. I felt at that time I was judged, so I avoided the dental visit for at least six years. However, two years ago, I ended up with a broken tooth due to lack of dental treatment. I was so humiliated, here I am an HIV educator and expressed to my clients the need to maintain their dental care and I had a broken tooth. So, I worked my way through the insurance system and found the dentist very near to me. She was great, did a root canal and crowned that tooth, with no shame or questions! So last week, I went back, but the first dentist I visited was not there, she had built her practice and sold the business, smart woman!
Today I was not prepared to have dental work, I went assuming an examination would occur and then schedule any procedure for later. However, I was able to get in and get it done today. The dentist gave me laughing gas, never have I had laughing gas. As a recovery addict, I fear anything that would feel too good, and this was a good feeling drug. The dentist said it calmed down her patients, because most people had dental work, I am not alone. I was a little tipsy, but I noticed that the dentist and her assistant were laughing more than me! I told her, with my swollen tongue and huge lips, 'I think the gas is for you, not me.' The dentist thought that was cute!
So two hours later, I had an extremely swollen mouth, a tongue that didn't work, lips that were extremely big, and my teeth cleaned with two cavities filled! Whew!
I did not think that the system could work that fast, and it was less than $75 for the entire services.
Thank you Crown Dental and Dr. K. Lee.