Sunday, May 16, 2010

How to Deprogram Bullies: Teaching Kindness 101

How to Deprogram Bullies: Teaching Kindness 101

Diary of a Sleep Study Contestant

For the past few years I have been waken up by my husband to 'turn over' because I was snoring too loud. I have been kindly sleeping on my stomach with my head turned to the right so he doesn't hear my snoring. After much discussion with others, I finally decided to invest in a sleep study. 

Invest indeed! First I had to go to my Primary Care doctor to get orders; next I looked up a local hospital that provides sleep studies. After discussing my sleep history with the staff, I sent them my orders, with insurance documentation, along with my picture ID.

I then spoke with the Admissions staff, who informed me that I would have to pay my deductible. This is were the investment comes in, I have not met my deductible, which is $2,500, so I had to basically pay for the study. Needless to say after two 'study' nights, I will be very close to meeting my deductible.
I was informed by the hospital staff that I would arrive in the evening, my appointment was at 9:00 P.M., and that I would leave early in the morning, 6:30 A.M. I was also given a description of what would happen; if the first night shows that I am having problem with my breathing or heart rate, then they would suggest a second night for further investigation.

So I signed up for a Saturday night, put my PJs in a bag, toothbrush, etc. and arrived on time for the evening. Little did I know what was in store for me!

I was 'wired up', no less than 20 wires were connected to my body - my legs, chest, chin, throat, around my chest, in my hair, around the waist, and a wire that was like two toothpicks that were right under my nose with a connecting wire that was in front of my mouth. Whew! I looked like the Borg from "Star Trek" movies and the statement "resistance is futile" kept going in my head! All of these wires were cleverly gathered together and plugged into a little blue 'box' that was plugged into a wall mounted computer connection. These would monitor everything from my breathing to snoring sounds to how much I 'kick' my legs. Once the blue box was plugged in, then I had to inform the sleep lab staff of my bathroom needs and he would have to unplug the blue box, which was carried on my neck with a lanyard and all of the wires plugged in, it was a careful bathroom break! A look in the bathroom mirror, all I thought about was the Borg! "Resistance is futile!"

So I slept or tried to sleep. I woke up at least two times, normal for me, once just cause and the other time was a bathroom break. The lab staff had to come in once to put back on the finger monitor, and yes, I was watched like Big Brother! Before the staff came in, I would hear his voice over the speaker informing me of his need to enter. And, yes, there was a camera recording the session.

In the morning, I was awaken by 6:30 A.M. and all attached wires were removed. I had about as much rest as I usually did. I asked about any results, he could not give me any due to the reports having to go to my doctor, but he did say, "you will probably have to come for a second night." That second night would entail me having to use a breathing machine, and yes more monitors attached, as well as meeting the deductible for my insurance!

I came home and slept for three more hours! Resistance to sleep was futile!